


The Most Rotten Villain

by Mayimayo



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Child Abuse, Depression, Eating Disorder, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Minor Violence, Robbie needs to learn to love and take care of himself: the novel, Self Harm, Violence, casual suicidal ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 00:07:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9046601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mayimayo/pseuds/Mayimayo
Summary: Robbie was a villain of many talents.There was one thing, though, that he was extraordinary at. That he could win with every time, that none could hope to escape or be spared from. One thing Robbie could never fail at even if he tried, even if he really wanted to fail. One thing Robbie knew he could always rely on, no matter what.Robbie was absolutely fantastic at making people hate him.





	1. A Gifted Child

**Author's Note:**

> Most of the tags only really apply to one or two small situations. I'd like to take this moment to tell you to be most wary of the internalized homophobia and self-harm. Those two are the ones that are most prominent in this fanfic, so if they bother you, you should tread carefully or even put this fanfic aside. Your health and happiness should come first.
> 
> If you have any additional tag requests, please please let me know. If I need to change the rating, also please let me know.

Robbie was a villain of many talents.

How many costumes had he thrown together in mere minutes which could fool the whole town? How many machines, cobbled from bits of wire and cups and squeaky toys, had he created to use against that awful elf? How many traps, how many plots and plans had he created that no-one could have seen coming? Robbie was a genius.

There was one thing, though, that he was extraordinary at. That he could win with every time, that none could hope to escape or be spared from. One thing Robbie could never fail at even if he tried, even if he really wanted to fail. One thing Robbie knew he could always rely on, no matter what.

Robbie was absolutely fantastic at making people hate him.

The first one was his father.

-

Robbie was five.

He fiddled with his fingers, not watching as the tiny, black-and-white television blared its story. A man, reported to be a nasty homosexual, had been thrown out of his house and the town, left to freeze in the deep winter snows or find some other place to pollute with his filth. It was a gleeful report. A triumphant one.

“Bloody good thing too,” Robbie’s father grunted. “I don’t want a pervert like that living in my town.”

Robbie looked up at his father, the tall, imposing man he’d always seen as a hero, someone to aspire to be like, and for the first time, he felt a tightness in his chest. Robbie thought about the boy at school, the one who’d shared his candy with Robbie, and his stomach turned uncomfortably.

“Is it really so bad?” Robbie asked, looking back down. “He was always so nice…”

Robbie didn’t expect the hand across his cheek, knocking him onto the floor.

“Don’t you ever say anything like that, ever again,” his father hissed, eyes narrow and furious. Robbie curled up into a ball, tears forming.

“Sorry,” he whispered, but the damage seemed to have been done.

-

Robbie was nine.

He hardly left his room.

His father had been on full alert since the incident four years before. Robbie wasn’t to stay at any of his friends’ houses, or be out of the house except for school and weekend football practice. If he was out, he was with his father, so Robbie didn’t bother going out. He stayed in his room and made excuses as to why he couldn’t play with his friends or have sleep-overs.

“I’m sorry, I can’t,” he said, when his friend asked him after school. Joey had been the one to share his candy, all those years ago, and they’d been friends ever since. Joey was ginger and had freckles, so not many kids liked him, either, and they’d naturally stuck together for safety. Joey’s face fell. Robbie hated it when that happened.

“You never want to play, Robbie,” Joey said, frowning. “Come on, I just got a commodore for christmas. It’ll be fun!”

“I can’t,” Robbie repeated, looking at the sidewalk. Joey sighed, and Robbie heard a note of irritation in it.

“Can’t you at least tell me why?” Joey pleaded. Robbie couldn’t answer. Because Father thinks I’ll be turned into a homosexual. That couldn’t go down well. Robbie didn’t want Joey to think he was bad and wrong. Robbie wanted Joey to like him the same way Robbie liked Joey, where he felt all nervous and happy just to see him. Best friends. That’s what that was called, being best friends, Robbie knew that.

“I just don’t want to,” said Robbie, fidgeting. “Sorry.”

“Fine! I get it, okay? You could just tell me you don’t want to be my friend, just like everyone else!” shouted Joey, stamping off down the street. Robbie watched him go with a sinking feeling in his chest. Another person he’d managed to make hate him.

Robbie went home alone.

He stopped going to school not long after.

-

Robbie was seventeen.

“Hey, cutie!”

They’d been dating for two months. Robbie bought her a present after one month with what little money he could make at the mechanic’s. His father was proud of him for getting such a masculine job, and for managing to secure a girlfriend. Robbie didn’t know how to feel about it, apart from relief that his father didn’t think he was gay any more, and guilty for feeling nothing more than relief toward her.

Sophie threw her arms around Robbie’s waist and kissed him, the bracelet secure around her wrist. Robbie didn’t really kiss back. He didn’t know why she kept doing it, it didn’t really feel good. But as long as it made her happy, and Robbie’s father happy, he’d go along with it. 

“Hey,” he said with a crooked smile. Sophie giggled. She said she liked the way Robbie smiled. Robbie couldn’t imagine that was true. He hated his smile.

“So, are we doing anything today?” Sophie batted her eyes, and Robbie’s stomach sank.

“I hadn’t really planned anything,” he said, and Sophie pouted.

“Well, I guess I’ll let you off the hook this time,” she said, kissing him again. “Do you want to go grab lunch?”

Robbie agreed. His father had started letting him out again, so long as he was with Sophie. It wasn’t exactly what Robbie wanted, but as long as he got to stay away from his father, it was okay. Even if Robbie felt guilty for trying to get away from his father. He was meant to love his father, but he just couldn’t manage it. Hell, he was meant to love Sophie, and he wasn’t sure if he did that, either.

Maybe Robbie wasn’t built for love.

-

Robbie was eighteen.

“It’s too much, I’m sorry, Robbie,” said Sophie, her mouth all downturned. Robbie’s chest ached. 

“Please, I’ll try to be better,” he said, begged, as Sophie shook her head.

“Robbie, you know I love you,” she said, “but this… You’re never happy with me, and you never want to do anything, you never even want to kiss any more! I just feel like you don’t love me!”

Robbie tried to say he loved her.

“I…” he said, and then his throat closed and he couldn’t speak.

Sophie wept as she turned and walked out the door.

Robbie’s father was staring at him from the kitchen doorway.


	2. Lazytown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robbie moves away from his father, to start a new life. Maybe things will be better for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Íþróttaálfurinn isn't the one for the play. It's just the name I use for 9, much like many people do. 9 is essentially an original character who happens to have the same name.

Robbie was twenty-one.

He’d moved out the year before, when he couldn’t stand being around his father any more. After Robbie lost his job he’d gotten worse, and Robbie could hardly muster the energy to get out of bed in the morning. So Robbie had left, moved into Lazytown, and settled in. It was a nice enough place, some kids, and the Mayor was nice enough to let Robbie stay there even though he couldn’t provide rent at the time.

“Just pay when you have the money, Robbie,” he’d say, with his cheerful smile. Such a kind man.

Robbie didn’t bother to try and befriend anyone. He knew it wouldn’t work, and he’d just end up hated again, so he simply hid and tried to get them out of his mind.

Things were easier that way.

-

Robbie was twenty-four.

“My name is Íþróttaálfurinn,” said the short, muscular man, grinning wildly.

Robbie had never met someone so eager to be his friend before.

“Go away,” Robbie said, and Íþróttaálfurinn’s face fell.

“Don’t you want to be friends?” he asked, “we can eat apples and do pushups together!”

“No, I don’t. I hate you and I want you to leave me alone forever,” said Robbie, turning his back on Íþró. “And I never eat apples.”

It wasn’t strictly true, Robbie ate all sorts of things.

“But I love apples! I love all fruit and vegetables!” said Íþróttaálfurinn.

“Well I hate all of those things, and I never eat any of them,” Robbie declared, “in fact, I only ever eat… Cake. And sweet things.”

Íþróttaálfurinn was stunned into silence, and Robbie felt a strange tightness in his chest. At least things were easier like that. If everyone was going to hate Robbie anyway, it was much better to get that done from the start. It hurt less.

“I don’t believe you, though,” said Íþró, slowly. “No one could live on only sweet things!”

Robbie resolved, then, to prove Íþró wrong. Worst case scenario, Robbie would die. Really, there was no downside.

“You should just leave. I’m never going to be healthy and you can’t make me.”

-

Robbie was twenty-seven.

Once Íþróttaálfurinn had left, downtrodden from his failure to get Robbie happy and healthy, everything got much easier.

Robbie stopped throwing up all the time from his diet, and he got so used to it that when he tried to eat fruit again, he couldn’t stand how bitter it tasted.

“Euch!” he complained, shutting his fridge and tossing the apple in the trash. He couldn’t believe it.

“How did I manage to eat these things?” he asked himself, getting a slice of cake. It was sweet and delicious, as usual. At least cake would never lie to him, pretend to look tasty when it actually wasn’t. Cake was always delicious.

Robbie made a point to talk to the townsfolk. Ever since he’d switched diets everything had gotten more irritating. The kids playing blared like alarms in his ears, so he coerced them inside with video games and candy until his town was perfectly quiet and peaceful. No one to bother him. No “friends” to annoy him with wanting to play and spend time together. Robbie could just sleep and eat in his lair, unused since Íþróttaálfurinn’s departure.

It was perfect, and Robbie still hadn’t paid a single cent to the Mayor. 

What a chump.


	3. Number Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of course, there's another. Robbie makes some realisations.

Robbie was twenty-nine.

“Another one?!” Robbie cried, when he first saw the muscular man standing with the children. This one had a ten, instead of a nine, but it was obvious they were from the same… collection of sport heroes.

It was strange, looking at Sportacus. Robbie’s chest went tight and he felt nervous and excited all at once.

Robbie wasn’t oblivious. He’d figured out a lot about himself after he left home. It finally hit him when he found a grainy photo of Joey with his commodore, the photo he’d given Robbie as proof he’d gotten it. He remembered Joey’s orange hair and freckles and felt weak, and he knew.

He felt sick realising it. Everything made sense, though. His feelings about Joey, and the lack of them with Sophie, and how strange he’d felt thinking about people being gay. It all made horrible, horrible sense. Robbie’s father had been right all along. 

“I only eat cake,” he said, the first time he got a chance to talk with Sportacus.

“That’s not very healthy, Robbie. Would you like an apple?” Sportacus offered.

“No. I hate apples, and all fruit and vegetables,” Robbie said triumphantly.

“How about a strawberry?” Sportacus tried. Robbie blinked.

“No, I just said-” he began.

“Watermelon? It’s really nice!” Sportacus said. Robbie didn’t know what to say.

“Or a pineapple? It can be a little sour but it tastes delicious! Or a pear, they’re very mild so it wouldn’t be too upsetting when you’re used to sweets and-”

Robbie had thought Íþróttaálfurinn was stubborn.

-

“Hi Robbie!” Sportacus called as he backflipped over Robbie’s pitfall. Robbie curled his hands into tight fists, glaring furiously as Sportacus went out of sight. That elf. So athletic, and muscular, and handsome, and pretty, and when he smiled his eyes crinkled up and -

Robbie bit the inside of his cheek, hard, until he tasted copper. There. That was better. Robbie had to train himself out of the thoughts, or he’d keep having them. Robbie couldn’t let that happen. He knew it was awful, knew he was awful, and he had to make it stop.

The problem was, Sportacus was everywhere. Robbie saw him nearly every day. Before Sportacus, Robbie had managed to push it down, ignore it. But he kept running into Sportacus, and seeing his soft blue eyes and wide smile and hearing the way he said Robbie which made him feel all weak -

Robbie slapped himself and went back to his lair.

-

“How long have you been awake?” Sportacus asked, stopping short. Robbie looked up from where he was lying on the bench, orange pillow tucked under his head.

“None of your business,” Robbie griped, eyes red and sore. Sportacus frowned, and Robbie’s stomach twisted.

“You need a good night’s sleep, Robbie. Sleeping out here won’t do you any good - it’s cold!” Sportacus pointed out. Robbie grumbled and very emphatically turned his back on Sportacus.

“Come on. I’ll make you some cocoa,” Sportacus offered.

“What?” Robbie wasn’t sure he’d heard correctly.

“I’ll make you some cocoa, to help you sleep!” Sportacus said. Robbie could practically hear the nervous smile Sportacus had, like he was so eager to help and be nice - Robbie’s chest hurt.

“Leave me alone,” Robbie said.

“I just want to help, Robbie,” Sportacus said, softly. “I just want you to be happy.”

Robbie swallowed past the lump in his throat.

“I’d be happy if you left me alone forever,” he said with some difficulty. Sportacus didn’t answer for a moment.

“... Okay, Robbie,” he said, in the most heartbroken tone of voice Robbie had ever heard. If Robbie wasn’t determined to keep Sportacus safe from his disgusting perversion, he might have immediately turned to apologise and beg forgiveness. But it didn’t matter what Robbie wanted. What mattered was that Sportacus be happy, and he couldn’t possibly be happy while Robbie was around.

Robbie listened as Sportacus walked away before he dared move again. He sat up, watching the darkness, half-hoping Sportacus would come back.

But he didn’t, and Robbie went home, conflicted and confused, but ultimately relieved he’d managed to save Sportacus from him.

Now he just had to keep away, and eventually Sportacus would leave, and everything would be okay again.

Robbie still couldn’t sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, everything will be okay now. Good job, Robbie.


	4. Comforting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, everything didn't go okay. What a shocker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is the comfort chapter of the hurt/comfort.

Robbie wasn’t sure how long he’d gone without moving.

He was certain it’d been at least a day. He’d heard the kids above him, playing, at least three times. He supposed that in between they might have gone for a meal, or something, so that would mean a day had passed.

Robbie was in his chair, leaning back and curled onto his side. He was sure he needed to eat, or use the bathroom, but he didn’t feel anything.

He felt hollow.

Robbie stared at the wall, listening as the children played gleefully outside, certain that Sportacus must be with them. Playing, jumping around, muscles moving smoothly under his skin, maybe sweating slightly, glistening in the sunlight -

Robbie bit his tongue and closed his eyes tightly. Bad. He had to stop. There was nothing he could do. Sportacus had clearly joined the others in hating him, like he should, and that was good. Especially with Robbie continuing to prove how awful he was. How much he wanted to kiss Sportacus. Robbie was sick and awful and he deserved to be hated. It was good. It was what should happen.

Robbie was crying, he knew that much, but not a lot of tears were coming. He supposed he hadn’t had anything to drink in a while, but that wasn’t that important. Robbie wasn’t thirsty. He didn’t deserve a drink, anyway. Maybe he’d just lie in his chair until he died. It wasn’t like anyone would miss him, or anything. Things would be better that way. Robbie wouldn’t be disgusting and awful to everyone, and they could go on happily with their lives, never having to deal with such a horrible person as Robbie ever again.

“Robbie!”

Robbie flinched a little as Sportacus came dropping down from the ceiling. He stared in horror as Sportacus landed and straightened up, staring at Robbie.

“What are you doing here?!” Robbie demanded shrilly, voice cracking.

“My crystal - are you crying?!” Sportacus looked about as horrified as Robbie felt.

“N-no, I’m not, go away!” Robbie hastily rubbed at his face, angry with himself. His hands felt flimsy and waxy, like they didn’t belong to him.

“How long have you been lying there?” Sportacus asked, running over to him.

“Go away!” Robbie repeated.

“Have you been here since we talked the other night?” Sportacus’ eyes were wide.

“Go away!” Why wouldn’t he listen?

“Drink this, Robbie, please! Can you sit up?” Sportacus wasn’t paying Robbie any attention, pulling a bottle of water out of his backpack and gently lifting Robbie up.

“No! That’s disgusting!” Robbie said, as Sportacus held the bottle to his lips.

“Robbie you’re incredibly dehydrated, you need to drink this!” Sportacus said, his brow so furrowed and eyes so desperate that Robbie couldn’t help but give in. He opened his mouth unwillingly, but as water poured in he realised how dry and thirsty he felt. He grabbed the bottle from Sportacus and drank it all in one go.

“Don’t-” Sportacus warned, but it was all gone. “You might give yourself an upset stomach…” he sighed, rubbing Robbie’s back.

“Whatever,” Robbie croaked, shutting his eyes. He tried to lie back down, but Sportacus wouldn’t let him.

“You need to get up, Robbie,” Sportacus urged, “you don’t even have to exercise. Just stretch out a bit, have something to eat-”

“No,” Robbie said. “You need to leave.”

“Robbie, I’m not going anywhere while you still need my help-”

“I don’t want it! You need to leave me alone!” Robbie shouted, opening his eyes to glare at Sportacus.

“Robbie, I…” Sportacus looked down. “I know you don’t like me, but I really… I really want to help, and be friends, you know?” Robbie felt like he’d been stabbed.

“How can you still like me?” he demanded, pulling away from Sportacus. “After everything I’ve done, how can you still want to be friends?!”

“I want to be friends with everyone, Robbie! And you haven’t really done anything bad, I mean, it just always seems like…” Sportacus hesitated, “... It seems like you’re lonely.”

Robbie stared at Sportacus, cheeks flushing red.

“I-I’m not - you don’t… I am bad! I’m horrible! I’m awful! How can you possibly-” Robbie began. Sportacus cut him off, eyes wide.

“You’re not - You really think you’re horrible?” he said, mouth agape.

“Well, I am! I’m the worst person in the world and you should stay away from me before I do something horrible!” Robbie shouted.

“I don’t believe you,” Sportacus said, shaking his head, “I don’t believe you’re horrible, you can’t be! You haven’t done anything! I’m not going to stop trying to be friends with you because you think you might do something bad, everyone might do something bad, that doesn’t make you a bad person!”

“But I am!” Robbie said desperately.

“Why?” Sportacus crossed his arms.

“I-I can’t-” Robbie faltered.

“If you don’t have any reason, Robbie, maybe that’s because you’re not bad?” Sportacus gave him a patient smile. Robbie felt sick. How could Sportacus continue to believe in him so completely?

“I do have a reason…” Robbie said.

“Can you tell me?” Sportacus asked.

“But then you’ll hate me…” Robbie started sniffling. Sportacus put an arm around him.

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” Sportacus asked. 

“Yes… I don’t know…” Robbie rubbed his eyes.

“It’s okay to cry, Robbie,” Sportacus said, offering him another bottle of water. Robbie took it.

“It’s just… It’s really bad, I don’t…” Robbie struggled for a moment, thinking of his father. “I don’t want you to hurt me,” he whispered. Sportacus froze, staring at Robbie.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said, with surprising ferocity. “Never.”

“You don’t know what I’m going to say,” Robbie said. Sportacus shook his head.

“I don’t believe you could have done anything worth hurting you over,” Sportacus said. Robbie swallowed.

“Okay,” he said sadly. He didn’t want to be hurt, but he knew that he deserved it, anyway. He was only dirtying Sportacus’ image if he didn’t say anything and just continued letting Sportacus help and be friends with him. It was the right thing to do. Robbie was just being selfish.

“I’m…” Robbie said, taking a deep breath. Sportacus rubbed his back gently. It felt nice. Robbie wished he didn’t have to say it.

“I’m gay,” he finally said, and started sobbing. Sportacus was silent for a moment and Robbie cringed, expecting the blows to fall any second.

Sportacus pulled him into a tight hug.

For a few minutes all Robbie could do was cry, confused and upset and relieved to be in Sportacus’ warm embrace. He clung to Sportacus tightly, afraid that if he let go he’d get cast off and maybe then the beating would begin.

“I would never hurt you for that,” Sportacus said at one point. Robbie didn’t believe him.

“I don’t hate you,” Sportacus said at another. Robbie didn’t believe him.

“You don’t understand,” Robbie sobbed, hiccupping. “I-I… You… I want…” he couldn’t get the words out. Sportacus rubbed his back in slow, firm circles.

“It’s okay,” said Sportacus, “Robbie, there’s nothing wrong with liking people, there’s nothing wrong with liking men…”

Robbie didn’t believe him.

Slowly, Robbie stopped crying, though he still held tight to Sportacus. Sportacus hushed him and calmed him, rubbing his back and softly petting his hair until he was done.

“Do you feel better?” Sportacus asked quietly.

“... I don’t know,” Robbie said.

“Robbie…” Sportacus said, “I don’t know who told you it was bad to be gay, but they’re wrong.”

“How would you know?” Robbie asked, pressing his face into Sportacus’ shoulder.

“Robbie, I’m bisexual,” said Sportacus, chuckling quietly. Robbie looked up slowly.

“You are?” he asked, baffled. “But you’re - you’re good.”

“Yes. I’m a superhero. I like men, too. So clearly, liking men is good. Right?” Sportacus said slowly. Robbie frowned. That made sense, but at the same time - it was utterly impossible. 

“I… Suppose…” Robbie said, still trying to work it out.

“It’s okay, Robbie,” Sportacus smiled, “if you don’t have your head around it yet. I promise it’s good, and I’ll try to help you realise that, too.” 

“But I’m - I’m bad,” Robbie tried. Sportacus shook his head.

“I said earlier, Robbie, you haven’t done anything bad, and being gay isn’t bad, either. So you’re not bad, Robbie, you’re good!” Sportacus said. Robbie stared at him, open-mouthed.

“You really think so?” he asked tentatively.

“Of course I do, Robbie,” said Sportacus, with a small grin. “I think you’re really good, Robbie. Really, really good.”

Robbie didn’t really get what he meant.

“Even though I think bad things about you?” Robbie asked.

“Bad things? Like, do you want to kiss me?” Sportacus asked. Robbie nodded, reddening.

“Well that’s not bad, either,” Sportacus said. He was closer than earlier. Robbie didn’t know when that had happened.

“Oh,” he said, flustered. 

“Do you still want to kiss me?” asked Sportacus. His hand was on Robbie’s. Robbie’s heart was beating unusually fast.

“Yes,” he said, and Sportacus leaned in.

Maybe Sportacus was right. Being gay certainly didn’t feel bad when Sportacus was kissing him, holding him close, his lips soft and welcoming. Robbie trembled, but Sportacus was firm and solid, and holding Robbie, and he smelled like apples and spice.

For the first time in his life, Robbie felt good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry and embarrassed about everything I've ever done especially this fanfiction so you're welcome I even posted it at all


End file.
